


Reborn

by Sugarsensei



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Dangan Ronpa 3, Reincarnation, Slice of Life, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugarsensei/pseuds/Sugarsensei
Summary: Alert! Spoilers v3 ending!After everything was over, I was broken, empty and lifeless. Only living for the will of the others.For the will of his boyfriend.Reborn AU! SaiOuma.16 years gap.Ouma is not mentally a child, but has some features as one.





	1. Finally free?

This generation of the danganronpa the show finished at my 16s, the tragic end.

Only three survivors, all of three broken into pieces, including myself… obviously.

Even my efforts, we couldn't cancel for once the show, only the audience decreased considerably. Soon enough the next generation got aired.

All my effort… All my suffering… No… it was the effort and suffering of everyone, not us, not me.

Everyone…

Although I have some prize for get out a live the show, still I got a job soon as possible, I needed distract myself on anything.

Also I help myself, going to the therapist once per week, after once per month, and date by date, the dates were extended and extended.

My department was little and in the outskirts, I wanted to walk a lot after work, also I still cannot manage being surrounded by people.

In reality I felt like a zombie, only tormented for my regrets and guilt, not allowing me died yet.

Thoughts I think over and over at my walking at home. If I can call my department like that.

How I lost my friends…

How I lost my boyfriend…

How they died horribly…

How they killed each other…

All my fault.

For not see enough, for being stupid and insecure. 

How everyone died, only for free us all three.

It was not worth it.

It hurt every day. That cold loneliness, that painful heartbeat, that awful guilt, those horrible nightmares.

Akamatsu… Momota… Ouma...

Ouma-kun…

I miss his smile, his energy, his unique way to push me forward. Mostly... by him, I was keeping on, even if I didn't want to do it. 

Still alive..


	2. Is that really you?

It seemed to be a normal summer day, rainy and warm, at my 22s, I was returning from my work at night, calm as always, walking under my umbrella, letting my body walks on its own.

In my regular footbridge, a child was sitting in the stairs, surprised me and scared a little; he was too young to be at late hours at night, he had the hair in his face, looking into the floor, crying a lot.

I don't know why but I felt he was crying for my sore heart. Those tears I can't cry since I got free.

I got near him careful, he was alone, sitting in one step, breathing hardly, probably he was sick.

Sitting in middle the rain, a young child… obvious get sick.

"A..Are you lost?" I finally asked covering him with my umbrella.

He looked at me right into my soul giving me chills; it wasn't a gaze of a child, deep and analytic, light purple eye color… a color similar to…

"Saihara-chan…" He said shocking me "Saihara-chan! Is that you! Right!?" He shouted trembling, I cannot say anything "Saihara-chan I.. finally… found you!" He hugged me before he collapsed. 

“Hey! Kid..” I panicked without understand, what in the world was happening, only realized he was burning in fever.

He was little and too skinny, probably he lived in the streets. But there is no way I just let him on the floor and pass him away, the streets were alone, I hadn't too much options, I can't though in anything more than take him to my house.

I took him in my back; I closed my umbrella to take him more safely, at least my department wasn't too far from there.

Once in my department, I looked at him closely, his hair was messy and black, his skin was to pale, I take out his wet clothes, and he was full with… scars and punches, it made me swallow and he didn't carry any belongings with him.

I rapidly covered him with dry clothes and put him in my bed. I didn't know what to do, in normal conditions I would report him in the police, but he… calling me like that… the way he looked at me…

It’s been a while I heard… that.

Saihara….chan… 

How… he..?

I would wait until he wake up to decided what to do… I sighed as I settled on my sofa with my spare bed sheets.  
.  
.  
But I paralyzed when I woke up, only to realize he was hugging me completely over me, with his face in my shirt.

I shouted inevitably.

He shouted in return jumping in his site, looking at me with a frown grabbing his shirt shaking "Why did you shout!?" He scolded at me, he was talking to me too friendly, too friendly.

"W..Why you are hugging me?! A..Are you insane?"

"Nishishi, Saihara-chan got timid so easily!" He throws at me, but I can fortunately stop him by his shoulders.

"A..And… you.. are.. a fan?" I wondered, but.. he was too young for known me.

"Wow! Aren't you thinking a lot of yourself?" He looked at me cheeky before hugging my arm "I missed you a lot… and I cannot believe I finally found you, it’s like a dream! I know everything is real! You are here after all!"

"Ehm…" I looked at him conflicted “Wha..what are you talking about?...”

"You don't remember me?" His eyes started to cry and his lips to tremble.

"Should I remember you?"

He started to cry for real, without release my arm, I touch his forehead with my hand, his fever was gone, and so he wasn't delirious.

At least not for sickness…

Although he was skinny, he was very cute for a kid from the streets, light purple eyes, black raven hair, pale skin.

"Why I cannot stop crying!?" He complained burying his face in my arm "It wasn't my intention cry for real in front my beloved Shumai!"

That… nickname..

My heartbeat rushed at the moment, I was possible, my.. guess.

But it.… was insane!

"How old are you?"

"I don't know" He said barely "I.. only know I was looking for you for two years!"

“Me..?” It.. can’t be…

He was still crying, he was really young, he can't really know me for danganronpa the show, because… He maybe didn't born at that moment, plus… he is looking for me for two years…

“Why me?”

“B..Because!” He shouted “I promised it to you..”

Promised… I tighten my lips. It really can’t be…

But he was a little kid, crying a lot hugging my arm. 

No… Ouma-kun… he it would not be like that… maybe…

The mere thought, it hurt.

His cries didn’t stop, even they became louder. I don’t know how to comfort children... or people.. in general.

"S..Stop crying…" I said shyly, I surprised he heard me.

"I am trying, b..but my body don't obey me like I used to! I am sorry!"

"U..Used to?"

"My… emotion shifter is a such messss!" He kicked my couch, and throwing himself at me completely, burying his face in my chest "I am just so happy! and so embarrassed! and so relieved! and… and…"

Is.. it possible… It can't be…

"O..Ouma-kun?" I muttered, more to myself.

"Y..yes?" He looked at me between sobbing, my heart melt and my eyes got wet “Saihara-chan recognizes me?!”

Maybe I didn't understand at all, but I… want to believe, more than anything.

That I can hug one time more to Ouma-kun… That's what needed most!

I hugged him crying as well.

That could be a scene, a 22 years old worker and a lost child crying together, until the tiredness ripe us out.

He fall sleep in my arms after a while, he seemed truly relaxed at my touch, if he was an ordinary child, wouldn't be the case.

Ouma-kun?... Really?.. Maybe he was only delusional… A delusional fan… maybe.

The rationality hit me once the tears faded, it felt good… crying… It had been a long time since I cried.

Being in the danganronpa show, made me had some acquaintances, or simply occasionally in the street recognize me, like Saihara, the ultimate detective, but usually were people of my age, or older… Not a kid.

Danganronpa is like a flame, only burns the aired generation, the previous survivors are only known for a few.  
And.. for a street kid, it’s unlikely, but possible.

But his way to talk, and his way to referring to me…

Saihara-chan… Shumai…

Ouma-kun? Is… really you?

I let him in the couch, settling him in between the sheets and pillows, only for give me time to make some breakfast.

He woke up after an hour, when I was for finish; he immediately looked for me, almost in the verge of tears and sighed once he hugged me.

It felt rare, having someone with me… in the department, and overall a kid…

"You are so.. tall…" He said hugging my stomach.

"Not so… I am only older."

"How.. much..?" He muttered.

"22 years old…"

"Ah!” He shouted, startling at me “I didn take so long to found you!" He said cheerfully "I was scared…"

"Scared..?"

"That.. you know... you get over me…" He sobbed.

I squatted at his size.

"You are really Ouma-kun?"

"Yes!" He pouted at me "I thought Saihara-chan believe me…"

"Is hard to believe.."

"I know, but it’s the truth." He looked at me placing his hand on my cheeks giving me a cute smile "I wouldn't lie to my beloved Shumai in this matter, you know that."

I felt a little blush in my cheeks, It was ridiculous blushed for this kid.

"Besides… I cannot lie very.. well in this tiny body… my emotions get over me… it's awful.." He tightens his lips, suppressing a sob.

He hugged me again once the tears came out.

I sighed with a smile, finish the breakfast carry him with my arm, it was more tiring than I expected, I had to admit.

He sat at my side, and devoured all the food happily.

"Ouma-kun… how you.."

"I don’t really… know.” He looked at me embarrassed. “My memory is a mess… since I born maybe… it's all blurry, but I can remember what happened in the academy for gifted juveniles, if I can try I can remember more and more clearly, but… what’s is clear completely… is..” 

He looked down.

“The murders, the trials… my plan, and..” He looked at me brightly “You.” And smile a little, a tiny warm smile, that melt my heart “You, completely you, and.. the promise I made you before... I died…"

My chest tighten, I have spent too many years trying to forget that moment.

"It's awful.. and hurts.. a lot, but I had to found you, it's wasn't a lie that I wanna spend my life with you! Not that shitty life that ended the next day… one… real lifetime!"

I hugged him on impulse and he correspond my hug tightly.

"I really love you… I never lie in that." He muttered.

"I know, I love you too."

"That's why I so sorry… I only wanted you to be happy and free."

"I am now." I smiled to him wipe out his tears.

The way he moved, he talked, he pouted at me, complained, laughed, he was the same.

He was… Ouma-kun. My Ouma-kun.

Although it is impossible, is… like a miracle…

"And we are together again!" He said cheerfully hugging my arm.

But even if he was… Ouma… He was still a child.

"B…but Ouma-kun… I can't keep a probably 6 years old child with me…"

"Huh? Why not?!"

"M..Mostly because is… outlaw.."

"Only for that?! Moo you are such boring!" He laughed cutely "But.. that's a lie." Sighed “I know that..” He mutter, to fell into silence "At least I found you…" He moved playful with his legs "You can visit me in the orphanage, if you want… expend… your time with this brat.."

"D...don't talk like this about… yourself.. Wait.. an orphanage?!"

He looked at me again with tears in his eyes. He.. really was emotional.

"I don't want to return, is awful! Why I always have to live in an orphanage!?" He complained, I bitterly swallow, that was true.

"Not… everyone… remember past lives.."

"But I don't want a family… I want to be able to see my beloved Saihara-chan." He looked at me, a strong, deep gaze "At least so… If Saihara-chan wants to…"

"First…" I cleaned my throat "We need to inform you are okay, and then I will see what I can do."

"Saihara-chan I escape two years… ago… I don't know is they are looking for me…" He seemed upset. "In the orphanage, happened a lot… They take care of us.. yes…" He jumps to the floor "But once we freely go away, humm soon they declare permanently lost." He looked at the ceiling thoughtful "At least it was like that in my times." He laughed a little.

"Even so…"

"Well… They would open a new solicitude, but if it was what Saihara-chan wants, it’s fine for me!" He smiled me not very credible only to looked at me sad "Only visit me, m’kay?"

"O..Okay.."

I wanted to cry again.

I.. don’t really wanted to let him go…  
.  
.

I left him in my department while I went to work, I didn't expect that turn in the events, he needed some clothes for him and more food, maybe also vitamins, and.…

"Saihara." One coworker called me.

"Huh? What's happen?"

"Nothing.. you look better."

"Better?"

"I dunno, more.. live."

"It's.. that bad?"

"No, I am just glad." He laughed "I always worried about you killing yourself."

"Ah… don't.. say that.."

"Only sayin.." He laugh again "I am glad, you don’t give up. "

"Ah.. yes…" I said with unconformity, maybe he was giving me encouragement, but it was a very ... pessimistic talk..

.  
.

Before go home, I bought him clothes, not so many, but at least he didn't need to wear my clothes.

"Shumai!" He received at me wearing one of my work shirts, exactly was I was referring to.. "Welcome home!" He hugged at me.

I closed the door at my back in hurry.

"Am I cute?"

"Y…You have 6 years!"

"Is that a no?" He tilted his head.

"I bought you something!" I said as passed him the bag.

"Clothes... but I want to use Saihara-chan clothes are way too comfortable and smell just like Saihara-chan!"

"G..go change.."

"Nishishi, Saihara-chan still is too cute!"

I sighed, and entered to the department.

He came back with a white shirt and a light blue short.

"They fit you."

"More or less, are so boring.."

"I only wanted bring some from you size, don't expect being a model suddenly."

He laughed sitting at my side.

"I know, thank you! Everything I receive from my beloved is precious!" Looking at me, with all the love he always looked at me, only to laugh "I would prepare the dinner, but I didn't want to." He laughed cutely.

"Yeah, that's a lie." It’s been a while since I answer that. It’s rare and.. nostalgic.

"You got me, I don't how to cook, I would love received with something good, also… your kitchen is so high!"

I laughed ruffling his hair.

"Is not usual that children want to cook."

He sighed in complain.

I prepared some dinner, mostly instant noodles, I didn’t have pantry or healthy food, but he happily ate everything.

This situation… it was comfortable… and quietly. It warmed my heart.

"Can we sleep in the bed?"

"Hum.. We?... Together..?"

"Of course!"

"Maybe.. we shouldn't.."

"You know… if you sleep in the couch I’ll sneak in with you.”

Just like the day before, it would… be embarrassing, but something told me that he nothing wouldn't stop him.

And… if really is… Ouma-kun…

"Fine…"

"Yay!" He cheered.  
.  
.  
He climbed in my bed, hugging me, I tensed. Before stop him he nuzzled my shirt cutely.

"I am too happy…to be with you again, is like a dream."

I let him be, I needed it too.

"Yeah, is just like a dream." I placed my head over his, so good for be real.

My.. Ouma-kun.  
.  
.  
The next day he was still sleeping, so peacefully, just like an angel. We settled that day we going to see the orphanage… But if it was bad idea… I had to see other options.

Before he woke up, I change myself and go out to myself to the address he gave me. It was an ordinary orphanage, even if it was my first time seeing one, I could tell.

The old building, wore out walls, shared big rooms, so…. old and noisy…

"Can I help you?" One of the volunteers asked me.

"Humm… only for ask if you have lost children"

"You lost a child? Recently we had some new incomes"

"Ahm… yes." It was the only I can figured at the moment "C..Can I see your records?"

"The records aren’t public, but if you say me, the family name?"

Family name…

"Ouma.."

She looked at me surprised.

"It's a rare last name" She commented looking in her list "But it remembered a child he called himself like that, even at his three years, he declared it was his name." He laughed softly to sigh "What would happened to that child?.."

"What happen to him?"

"I don't know, one day he simply vanished." She sighed, lifting her shoulders “He was rebel, and never agreed to live here.”

"And.. you don't look for him?"

"I know sounds awful." She looked at me sadly "But the orphanages are sites only were raised for volunteers and donations, we… didn't have the money to search kids that they don't want to be with us…"

Just like he said.

I tighten my lips, and wait to she made a useless search before to leave.  
.  
.  
I return to my department and Ouma almost jump to my sight

"Saihara-chan!" He received me with a hug "You weren't anywhere when I woke up, and.. kinda.. panic a little." He laughed as he released me “But you are here… and it’s fine…” He released his breath calm.

"It still left for you go to work, so can we breakfast together?" He asked me "Cereal it's fine, or instant noodles, I checked the shelves as I could!"

He looked at me, his sight as good as always, so deep and analytic. I saw his smile fade out a little.

"Hmm! But! More importantly! When are we gonna go to the orphanage? I can't wait I hate this place!" He lied cheerfully more convincing that the others lies.

I sighed.

The orphanage… They didn’t search him… I don’t really wanted let him go…

I looked at him as I enter the department, his eyes telling me the same as I was thinking desperately.

"We.. don't…"

"We did set we are going to see it today, didn't we? Are you regretting already?" He try to mocking, but it did came out pretty awful.

"We don't." I said more confident "You are going to stay here…"

"F..For today?" His eyes filled in tears.

"N..No… you are.. going to live here with me."

"R..Really?" He said breathless.

"Yeah.."

"Aren't you lying, are you? Saihara-chan wouldn't be… so cruel.."

"No…" I sighed "I am not lying…" His eyes finally released his tears.

"I am so glad!" He throws at me burring his head in my stomach "Saihara-chan is always too nice to me.. B..but why the change?"

"Well… you are.. my.. Kokichi."

He blushed completely until his ears, it was the first time I called by his name. His brain seemed burned out, I laughed a little, kissing his forehead.

“I love… you.. Shuichi…” Murmured embarrassed with a smile.

It didn't have any sense, maybe anybody believe me, but so many coincidences… that feeling, his age, he knows everything even the things only two of us know, also.. and more importantly, it was him… his essence his look, his moves.

It was him, I have nothing more to ask for. 

He was my Kokichi, and I would anything for him.

“I love you too.”

.  
.  
I am not proud of… but I have known a few people, than… they make documents, fake ones… I have the money for it.

He at this moment is an unregistered child, almost dead.

He needed a name, and obviously Kokichi Ouma isn’t available…

I suggest “Kokichi Saihara.” Taking the Saihara last name like my relative, but he refuse completely, because, he wanted to marry me…

It ended in… Koichi Yuma. It was cute.

But I still called him “Kokichi” or “Kichi”

It was not what I would imagined… my day a day. Mostly because before I only lived to die, I never thought I would be feel the happiness again, or the warm of a home.

Even still felt like a dream, even if it so, I wouldn’t want to wake up…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Reborn Ouma 6 years, so cute!


	3. What I am for you?

Kokichi surprising remained smart; he always was reading my books; even I bought him a few books he wanted. 

I also I was glad my department had a spare room, that I used like a cellar, but after I take one day cleaning it, it was pretty decent, only needed furniture.

But he only looked at me in complain and disapproval.

Telling me again and again, that he didn’t need a room because he already had the mine. 

Even, he did not help me at all! He just brought me water and looked at me with a tiny smug smile. 

Well I wasn't expecting he help me, but still his intentions were very clear.

It took less than a month for his room was ready, he looked at my angry for a few days after that. Even so, he occasionally sneaks into my bed at night.

The department felt more alive and warm, he looked very… cute reading, mostly because it’s not exactly a scene you expect for a child.

At his 7s, he wanted me to arrange the exam for him to graduate himself from the elementary school, and middle school.

I was like… his tutor maybe, taking him where he wanted, buying him his stuff, seeing for his education… It was odd, I can tell very odd. 

But Kokichi tried to do, everything that at his 7 years old could. 

At his eight, he already has the middle school finished. That would scary everyone, and he already was planning skip the high school too…

I had to stop him, I didn’t understand his… hurry..

I calm him a little with bought a laptop with internet, and that would be enough to research what he wanted to.

A few months later, I was.. a little worried to ask, but somehow he was generating money, charging to my card, because he didn't have ones yet. Not much, but like a half time job.

I couldn’t stop him even if I wanted to.

He always moving around, doing things, not only physically, he always manage to keep forward. 

He is the definition of keep moving.

It already forgotten, once you… stop moving forward, you move back, that is what I am doing all this time. Only falling back, to the past, to the regrets, to the loneliness.

Why always needed he tell me that? Even if that words have never came out his mouth.

I changed for a better job, at least one less repetitive and closer, I wanted to have more time, for being in home, take back the reading, and chat with him.

He was still unbeatable in chess.

He was the same, only cuter, he requested often to pat his head, or hugged my chest when I was resting in the couch, occasionally he fell asleep like this. It was peacefully.

Even though his worries was at other completely side.

"Shu.." He asked at my side in the couch one day in my 24s winter.

"Hm?" I hummed without apart my look from my book.

"What I am for you?"

I closed my book almost instantly.

"What?"

He looked at me serious.

"What I am for you?" Repeat emotionless.

"Ehm….."

"Before… we were boyfriends… but now… we don't.. do we?"

"You have 8 years Kichi..."

"Moo! And so what?! I am not like a normal 8 year old brat! I remembered perfectly had sex with you!"

"Please not so.. loud.." I begged, fearing my neighbors listened.

He looked away, biting his trembling lower lip.

"I… fear… you go out and making out with somebody else…"

I sighed, patting his head.

"That's not going to happen.." I ruffled his hair, passing his shoulders with my arm. "I…only want you grow up healthy… I don’t have hurry, you shouldn’t have it neither."

I was a zombie before I meet him again, I hadn't any expectations in chasing for a partner, less a lover.

"You love me?" He asked me serious.

"Yes."

"Like how?"

"As you are." I answer happy.

"You are playing foul!" He hissed at me.

"Is the truth." I laughed a little as he hugged me.

"And.. When are you gonna kiss me?"

I kissed him in the cheek, and he pouted at me.

"On the lips! Stupid Shumai!"

"Hm..” I thought for a moment “Until you were 16.. maybe."

"Ah?!" He shouted.

"And.. I am being generous not saying 18.. I left the 18 to be officially dating." If he still wants to date me then… obviously.

"AH? T..That's way t..too much!" He truly seemed shocked. I wonder what he expected from me…?

"Is pretty fair to me, I kiss you when you had 16 after all…"

"Hmmm.." He hugged me again "You are not allowed to kiss anybody."

"I neither want to.." I place my head over his.

"Would you… be.. that patient for me..?"

"Yeah."

"You better not be lying."

"I am not, I am just glad to be with you again, anything else matter to me."

"Hm.. fine, I'll wait, but remember, you are mine! Y..You better not betray the supreme leader."

“No, I would never do that.” I laughed a little, hugging him tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, I have to say I already have one chapter more, and a drawing but is for maybe two chapters more (maybe)
> 
> Thank you for reading :D


	4. I am fine...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One chapter shorty, in between each chapter would have a time skip.

Kichi have been acting weird for a few days, more quiet and forced, he didn’t lie so good yet, I can tell he also was frustrating with himself.

And it ended with him catching a cold, he had fever for a completely day, I skipped work for that day only for take care of him, even though he has been recover himself quickly before, these time he was completely collapsed.

He already had his 10s, he didn’t grow too much in these two years.

I need to improve my cooking skills, for Kokichi he would live happily all his life with junk food and takeaways.

For him, was quiet, only sleeping in my bed, although he had his room… He requested mine; I didn’t have the heart to refuse.

“Kichi…” I touched his red cheek.

“Hm?” He buried his face in the pillow.

“You still seemed warm..” He looked at me, I swallow at his sight was too indecipherable and deep.

Yes… A 10 years old kid was intimidating.. me.

He seemed mad… or maybe sad… or maybe frustrated.

“I'll put you the thermometer again..”

Now he looked sad.

“Kichi…” I called him “Can you tell me… what is going on on your mind?”

He tightened his lips and closed his eyes.

Is that a no?

I take it back the thermometer and sighed. Still high… 

“I’ll bring you something to eat.” I tried to stand but he grabbed my sleeve.

“Stay… a little longer.” He muttered.

I didn't answer, only obey him, was more words than he said in all the day…

We remained silent for a few minutes. He was dozing and thinking at the same time.

He turned to me and took my hand with both hands and closed his eyes tightly.

“I found it…” He murmured in a whisper “It.. was not easy… but.. I found it.” He took a breath “Danganronpa… our.. season.” 

I paralyzed, he looked at me shyly and trembling.

“I… regret it.” He continued “But I had... to see it.”

“No, you… shouldn’t have”

“Yes.” He sighed trying to smile “Just before the… 5th trial I didn’t know what happened…” He sighed again tighten my hand “I don’t.. know why… It.. affected more.. than I expect..” He finally release tears from his eyes.

Without knowing what to do, I hugged him.

“I am only embarrassed, for.. how… mistaken I was..” He returned my hug "In that moment... It was the only thing I could think, I felt trapped, trapped enough to continue with that stupid... plan".

All of us were… mistaken, but he always looked more than everyone, it wasn’t his fault, was… mine. Only mine for not understand him. But I cannot say that, he needed more reassuring… he was upset and nervous, he didn't need more worries.

What can I do? Negate? Be positive? Be pessimist? Avoid?

I didn't really know...

"You don't have to say anything." He sighed heavy, letting his weight over me, probably feeling worse and tired "I'm.. fine."

Yeah... that's a lie.

 

I took a breath.

“I know you feel bad, guilty, regretful... But... This… is a new life, isn’t?.. Not only you... but we... We are living a life...” I tighten my lips unsure about what I am saying "T..That's not the better way.. to comfort.. but.."

He laughed between sobs, grabbing my shirt.

He took breath.

"Is the way Shuu take care of me.." He sighed tired “Pat my head.” He murmured, I obey instantly, letting rest in my chest, I sat next to him to bring him to my chest more properly “I.. hate that show…” He sniffed.

“Me too…”

“And… is.. still aired…!” He grabbed my shoulders “Is so frustrating!”

“I know…” I still ruffling his hair “But… is their choice…”

He sobbed a little more tired before fall asleep.

I sighed relieved; I didn’t worsen the situation I think…

He didn't want to admit it, but he was more emotional, usually the children have their feelings more into the surface, it worried him so much, enough to sick him. But probably I would go through the same thing if I see it.

Also, in his strange situation… remembering everything at his age… It gave an early trauma to a kid with three years old. I wish I could do more for him, but I only can hug him and comfort him.

After his breath calmed, I put him again in the mattress, he looked at me sleepy, still with his red bright cheeks, now wetted by his tears.

I kissed his forehead and he touched my neck with his warm hands.

“Are.. you.. leaving?” He barely asked me in his drowsiness.

“Sleep a little, I’ll bring you something to eat.”

He looked at me for a second before answer quietly “Yes.” He smiled closing his eyes tired “Thank you Shuichi.” He placed a kiss in my cheek, little and soft “I… don’t really deserve you.”

“Don’t said that.” I felt blushing in my cheek I was glad he already had his eyes closed, I ruffled his hair a little more “I love you, there will be no one like you, I couldn’t love anyone else.”

He opened his eyes embarrassed looking away with his cheek completely red with a cracking smile.

“I would throw myself on you ... if I could ... in this moment.” He laughed a without energy, the talk from before drained him out completely.

“It seems you need to recover yourself first.”

“It seems so..” He smiled at me “Prepare yourself then!” It was a try for a shout but it came out very badly.

“Yes, yes..” I was so glad to saw him in better humor, I stand up, for bring him something, but before I reached the door I heard.

“And.. Shumai…”

I turn to him.

“I love you too.” He said brightly, making me the embarrassed.

“Get some rest.” I said as I heard his giggles.


	5. Almost 16s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff, fluff, fluff, a little hurt, but more fluff xD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you very much for your reviews. I say I was really nervious, mostly because english isn't my native languaje, I love it, and I often write in english (but only for myself) sooooooooo.... I don't really know how I am doing xD
> 
> So that's why I dare to update one for a little test, and.. here I am.

“Shuu look!” Kokichi shout at me from the door “Look! Look!” He slapped the paper in my face before I could see it properly.

“What.. is this..” I took it.

Kichi sat at my side in the couch with a giggle. I read it before he hurried me more.

“Is not a surprise.”

“Rude!”

“But congrats.” I smiled ruffling his hair, he smug at me looking the paper in his hands; it was his certificate from high school. I couldn't stop him to skip the high school when he turned at his 15s.

But the papers delay almost a year in arrive, that’s why he was too happy.

“You could've enter in a high school.. like a normal 15th years old would do.” 

“It would be boring! It’s always boring!”

“Maybe so… but you also could know new people..”

He let his head rest in the back of the couch.

“For so?..” His voice was serious and calm “I only know how to annoy, trick and manipulate people; I'll be boring in a week.”

He didn't need to behave like that… But I understand…

Even when he always was surrounded of people he was as lonely as me.

I squeeze him with my arm, kissing his temple, his feline smile returned, throwing himself to me.

“Besides you are here!”

“I still I don't know why I didn't bore you yet..”

“Because you my Shuichi, it wouldn’t be possible.” He hugged my neck, getting so close to me, I felt a light blush in my cheeks and my heartbeat raced, he giggled placing a kiss in my cheek “Did I embarrassed you?” He mocked, tighten his grip.

“O..Of course not..”

He faced me again.

“Your still not improve your lies.. Mr detective.” He giggled more… mature, I cannot look away from his eyes.

W..why is he suddenly in charge the situation?!

“But that is why.. you are so cute.” He looked directly to my eyes, making me swallow, I know I was blushing for real.

“I.. am not cute.”

He got closer and closer, he was completely over me, our chests bumped together, pushing me on the side of the couch. 

“Yes.. you are.” 

When I felt his breath in my face, I push him away by his shoulders, his intentions were clear since the beginning but I fell in his game without think it…. 

“WA! Why?” He complained.

“Kokichi!” I scolding him; and took a deep breath cooling my head “We are not kiss until you have 16.”

He bitten his lip, pouted at me, clenching his fist over the couch.

"Shuichi is being stupid…" He murmured.  
He was angry now. I sighed as patted his head.

“I almost 16s"

"But you are not 16s." I answered.

"There is one month left!"

"If we are fair… I think I kissed you at your…. 16s and half" I answer, he shocked.

“Fine, fine! In a month it’s fine!” He shouted instantly hugging me.

I sighed again as I return his hug, he made some fake sobs and a cute sighs. He still was upset, I can tell.

I kissed his forehead, and laughed quietly at his complain.

"But y’know, I’m in the middle of the hormones rush! It’s really hard having a cutely boyfriend like here! I can’t wait to kiss you…"

"It's not… healthy kids going to that stuff so early." I said with mockery.  
“Oh.. shut up, you are being condescend.” He complained.

I looked at him and he was blushing cutely.

“This year is way too long…” He sighed dramatically “I feel I have 15s since forever!” 

“It’s only have been 11 months.” 

“Hmp! You don’t recognize my effort Shumai” He looked at me offended. “I already have control of my expressions, my emotions, almost like before, I am not a child! Like I was when I found you."

I laugh a little, his worries.. always surprised me.

"Only a chaste kiss." He pleaded at me with his cheeks all red.

I sighed pulling my hair awkwardly "You still want to kiss me? In this year I'll turned to 32 years."

"Huh?!" He shouted "Are you crazy? How dare you ask that question !? I have been wanting to kiss you since forever! B..but you said… until 16! And I did not disobey you because I love you!”

He hugged me again, without let me see his face. I think I mess up with this question, he was murmuring something in my chest grabbing tightly my shirt.

Once I putted attention he was saying “Stupid” again and again, it made me laugh quietly.

“I’m sorry.” I ruffled his hair as he looked at me.

“Hmp! Did you buy it? I was only joking.” He giggled.

“Yeah, you don’t.” 

He tightened his lips and looked away.

“I guess I was being stubborn. I wanted you considering… “I sighed bitterly” ...Not being with me, just for a moment”

“And why you wanted that?” He stiffened looking at me shocked.

“I don’t like it, no, I hate.. it.” I looked away in the middle of the silence. “But even if I hate it, I could tolerate it, because I really love see you happy, is the only think I need, that’s why..”

“You are being stupid…” He interrupted me, looking at me serious, before hugging me, and letting out a breath “So… so… stupid…”

He grabbed my shirt and let it out with a sigh, resting his forehead in my shoulder.

“I love you Shuichi, I am not joking, I am not delusional, It’s not just a teen crush, I really do love you” He talked quietly “I am really happy, every day because I can being with you, maybe you were right, not letting me kiss you before, I don’t want to admit it, but before… a simply pat on my head it was enough to made my chest shudder filling me in joy.”

“But I grow up!” He laughed a little looking at me finally with a tiny and cute smile “You said you’ll wait me, but.. I getting impatient, because I only thinking in kiss you since I turned 12, dumb Shumai, you are the only person, the only thing, everything! In my head since I get known you, I always wanted to tangled you… but in the end I got tangled to you, in a mess that I couldn’t come through, even if I would like to.”

I have no words, when he.. talked so natural, fluid and sincere… I didn't even feel nervous, he enchanted me, I only could listen every word carefully like a melody. 

“It’s only love what I feel for you, you couldn’t just ask me to meet somebody else and hope I felt the same… Is you or.. you, there is no other option.” He smiled me playfully.

Why you love me so much?

Even if I am broken or boring.

Why somebody so amazing like you looked at me with his eyes filled with love and care?

Why somebody like me, was granted with a second chance to be with you?

I took his cheek softly and smiled to him.

“I guess.. I have no other option, then.” I murmured as I join our lips together, in a lighten move, he surprised immediately. 

I circled his waist, enjoyment of his lips over mine, his warm breath, and his sweet essence. I pressed a little further, hugging him with careful.

He is my treasure, after all.

He finally relaxed, hugging me from my neck, letting me pull him on into me even more.

My heart fluttered so strong in my chest, I felt my cheek get completely red as the touch of his soft and thin lips.

I parted our lips, feeling still the high and the ticklish in my own lips, but he fell over the back of the couch, with all his face red almost steaming, hiding his face.

“A..Are you okay?” I asked him. “Kichi?”

He was completely immersed his own thoughts to heard me. Only giggled a lot for himself, without any control.

Mature… eh?...

“Kichi?” I asked again looking him at his eyes “I shouldn’t do it?”

He had a cracked smile a trembling one, he redden at my sight.

“I…I am fine! It..was very sudden, I..I got for surprise!” He laughed trying to recover his composure “I love it! Really, really, really, really I do!” He giggled even more with a wide smile and immediately hiding it, with his hands all over his face. “I am just… to happy! Don’t mind me!”

I sighed feeling me blush as well; a little embarrassed I hugged him right onto my heart.

“I am happy too..” I muttered.

“Shu…” He started trembling, but before I got worried he throws himself to me, pushing me in the couch hugging me tightly “I love you!”

That is how he is, is his perfect way to be.


	6. Unexpected visitor.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthdays and birthdays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I though in reborn Kokichi birthday, was in april 21th, so it make up an almost half year to Saihara's birthday on 8th of September.

We are only still in the kissing phase. The first ones where one or two at week, he seemed completely overwhelming for a chaste contact, letting him in a blushing mess.

After our first kiss, he slowed down his hurry very suddenly. I appreciated his good sense, so I let him to set the pace.

I think he understand he needed to ask me for the kisses from now on.

Until half year later, he dared to deep our kisses a little more, it was just like before, one kiss in his lips, other in his cheek and another in his forehead and he blushed completely hugging me as his life depend of it.

He always have been so cute, the face only I can see.

In that time, He already reached my nose, he probably would be more taller than before but no too much, after all he already had 17, it was an age… special for him, because he died at his 16s nearly 17s.

On his birthday was sticked at me every moment of the day, like he being glued to me, he was very happy, very happy, but he wasn't the only one, also me.

I was glad to have this peacefully days, days that we could go to a coffee or for ice cream, he dates were more often than he was younger.

Mostly because I worried for him, he is too cute for his own good.

.

In my birthday he surprised me buying me a lot of gifts, a few books, a fountain pen, a nice ties, before I asked he said.

“And don’t worry all is completely illegal, obviously bought it with my illegal and deadly job!”

“That’s a lie.”

“And why you say so?! You don’t trust in me?!” He shouted with fake tears in his eyes.

“It’s not like I didn't figure out what you earn money, Mr wall street.”

“Aww.. boring…!” He said before to smiled “But that’s a lieee! how I expected my beloved Shuichi never disappointed at me.” Kokichi hugged me happily.

“Even so, you didn’t needed to spend so much…”

“Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing for my beloved deserves.” He pulled me down to kiss me, a cute and lovely kiss “Happy birthday!”

“Thank you” I place a little one again in his lips.

He smiled me brightly, hugging me with a wide smile giggling a lot, as always whenever I kissed him.

But we were interrupted by the door, he looked at me with a puzzled face. We never had visit from anyone besides the landlord only for the month rent.

“Coming?” Kichi murmured as he went to the door.

When he opened I knew something was wrong at the sudden silence, he stood paralyzed.

I stood up, worried when I realized the reason.

“¿Ouma?” I heard… Harukawa Maki, in my door, looking him with contempt, her red eyes piercing him “No, it’s impossible, anyway... Is Saihara living here, right?”

“Ah… em..”

“What’s your problem?”

I hurried to him, taking him by his back, he seemed in a panic attack, completely and absolutely pale.

“Kichi… You should go to.. bed.” His eyes trembled to me, got filled in tears and nodded, barely walking to his room.

“Saihara.. I thought you were self destructive… but this is... disgusting.

I gulped and stiffen, even for me her presence was.. heavy.

“Taking a kid as replacement for your maniatic dead boyfriend.”

Maybe is the way its seems, but even so, that’s not a way to referring to Ouma.

“He is my present, right now… and he.. makes me happy.”

“Happy…” She grumped. “It seems you had forgotten all the suffering we went through…”

“Not at all, only.. thought…”

“None, of us can be happy, not with the decisions and deads over our shoulders.” Her words were… heavy, crushing my soul slowly and painfully “We agreed to that, the three of us.”

“Ahm..” My words stopped at the instant they leave my lips.

“I never thought you would redo a life.”

“Is.. what..” they would want… 

“Huh?”

“Wh..what so… wrong in that?!” Surprised me, it wasn't me, was.. for my back, in the dorm door, Kokichi with tears in his eyes, trembling like a leaf “Shu deserves only.. h..happiness..” His voice was weaker and weaker, before to fell on his feet.

I hurried to him, he was hardly breathing, with a hand over his mouth, Harukawa snorted approaching us.

“Saihara you.. surprised me… you always had a shitty taste, the worse I had meet for, first Ouma and then him.” He pointed with her chin to him.

I fisted my hands, repressing my anger, she actually lead Kokichi to his dead, I hugged him with my arm, looking at her angrily.

“Harukawa… san… This is my department and my life, if you only came to insult at me and my loved ones, I'd ask you to leave permanently.”

She looked at me frustrated with sadness in her eyes.

Or.. Maybe I was hallucinating…

“I just made a visit to Yumeno, she is a shut in, for already three years.”

I didn’t know…

“I realize a few weeks ago… I though we… the survivors need at least known about ourselves. But you seem already made up your life, aren’t you? With that kid, you are right, maybe I should leave.”

When she turned around to the door, I stood again.

“Harukawa…” I said “Already past more than 17 years, the… life continues, and… we were alive.”

She snorted “And… that’s the way you respect the lives from those who died.”

“I would never forget them.. but I… we "I corrected" Cannot live in the past anymore.”

“It pissed me off… the life in your eyes, it’s absolutely disgusting...” She looked away, my chest tight in hurt, without breath “Anyway I only was.. passing by… I already going. It’s your birthday… so... happy birthday.” Said the last phrase with bitterly without looking at me before leave for the hall.

I tried to catch my breath, grabbing my shirt over my heart, only a few words… and felt the world was breaking on my feet.

Kichi…

Immediately remember him, I closed the door went where he was sit, hugging himself, breathing fast, completely pale.

I understand him, for him, her visit must be… more shocking. I embraced him protectively. He was trembling and sweating a lot.

“That’s okay, I am here…” I repeat it making circles in his back, arranging his locks, until he calmed down, curiously it also calm me as well, letting me breath normally again.

“I'm sorry…” He muttered finally grabbing my shirt.

“There no need, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“It’s your birthday, and I messing it up.” He sighed more.. natural.

I took his lips softly “Is not messed up, and It wasn't your fault.”

He recovers his normal breath hugging me in silence, leaning onto me.

“Harukawa-chan… is scary..” He laughed a little.

“I know” I tried to laugh as well to bright the humor.

He hiding in my shirt.

“How much of her you remember?”

“Regrettably…” He remained silent for a minute “Everything..” And curled to me “I remembered her before you…” I stroked his hair “But I’m fine by now.” He looked at me with a smile, as I kissed forehead and sighed more deep and calm “Yeah… only because Shuu is here… I think I am fine by now.”

“But… You are still pale.”

“Excuse me detective! I am pale!” He laughed, smiled at me more honest “Can we go to the table? I wanna eat more cake, and that’s the truth.”

“Fine..”

.  
.  
.

I offered him to sleep in my bed, he agreed pleased.

“But is not my birthday! What makes you gift me something so amazing?”

“Is not like you never sneaked constantly at my bed…”

“I don’t know what are you talking about!” He giggled.

He maybe said he was better, but he cried a lot silently in his dreams, I only could hugged him and stroked his hair trying to calm him.

“I am here for you… Now I am who will protect you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened in Ouma previous birthday (06/21)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for read me!


	7. Looking for...

“Shuichi..” I heard in the late night, all the week after Harukawa encounter, I let him sleep with me, mostly for take care over him, until he seems being okay again.

Of course, Kokichi didn’t complain. He took it like a practice for when we’ll share the bedroom for real.

“Hm?” I touched lightly his hair and he continues.

“I was thinking…” He murmured.

I payed attention on him.

“About Harukawa-chan said.”

I sighed.

“There is no need to remember it..”

“Maybe! But even so I remember it.” He said looking at me with a light smile.

“What about.. Harukawa…?” I asked.

“Hmm… don’t you think she sound….” He though for a moment.

Angry? Repulsed? Hatred?

“Sad..”

“Ah?” I looked at him.

“It was my impression after… I recover the little tiny bit shock I had.”

Little… Tiny bit shock…

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you?” He placed a finger over my lips, laid in my chest thoughtful “Hm… She always seemed angry, even before, it’s a way to kick us out of her way.”

“Aren't you…. Being… too kind with her?”

“I don’t really dislike Harukawa-chan.” He looked away placing his chin on my chest “I only dislike her for the memories they put on us… I guess that anybody having that awful memories would be… that aggressive and cruel."

“Maybe..”

“Hm?” He looked at me with a tiny smug smile “But you! Sound really mad at her.” He giggled.

I sighed again.

“Yeah, I mad.” I ruffled his hair “I cannot let her treat you like that, not before… not now, she never respected you.”

“Hmm….” He hummed quietly “I was… a terrible person, it was obvious. I also think you have bad taste for liking me, once and once.”

“I going to get mad with you as well…”

He only giggled.

“I love you.” He murmured “I would never let anybody take you away! Thats why I think I am an horrible person for keep you, all for me, Shumai is too much for me.”

“Kokichi…” I scolding him, messing up completely his hair with my both hands.

“Ah! I get! I get!” He laughed hugging me, I kissed his cheek hugging him as well “But still I think… that maybe you should talk with her.”

He nuzzling my shirt, accommodating in my hug cutely.

“Talking with her…” I murmured to myself.

“Only.. if you want..” He answered “I know Harukawa-chan is scary… but it made think.. she also is alone.”

I tighten my lips, buried my face on his hair. I was being unfair, even inconsiderate… Because if I didn’t have him, I still be like Harukawa, cold, emotionless, lifeless.

Even so! 

I did not forgive her! 

I would not let her hurt him! 

Physically or mentally.

But…

“I will talk to her..”

“Hm? I though you fell asleep..” He murmured sleepy “Don’t overthinking Shumai, I only wanted to tell you… mostly because you were his friend.”

“Things… happened.”

“I know.. I already see the show, remember?” He forced a little laugh “I bet of you two miss Momota-chan.. so much.” It was subtle, but I heard his voice cracked.

“Can we.. stop talking about that?” I avoided.

“I’m fine Shuichi.” As always the knew what I mean “Momota-chan was a stupid just like me, he made suffer Harukawa-chan same as I made you suffer.”

“I really mean it… stop talking..”

“Fine.” He murmured finally, he grabbing my shirt tightly in hurt.

“Also, I prefer you don’t see again or any time soon to Harukawa-san.”

“I don’t need you tell me.” He said with humor “I prefer not see her again… for no reason, actually.” Lied.

He barely slept this night, he woke up constantly, startled each half hour, he was quiet and sleep again fast, in attempt to not wake me up, but it was very late for that.

Exactly that’s why I don’t want to talk about this…  
In the end we wake up at midday, but at least we could sleep a little.

.

After that it was really hard, make him return to his own bedroom. 

He asked me in complain “When I’ll move to you bedroom for real!?”

But I really wondered, at his 18s was a good date? Or maybe hurried?

I actually didn’t know.

Nobody would understand my circumstances. They only judge me, and at the same time… Each relationship is different, I cannot allow me be dragged by their judgements.

I said it before, at his 18s, in this moment sounds like a long future. But already past almost 10 years from this promise.

And now, only left half year for his 18th birthday.

 

.  
.

 

Somehow, in the same month I could contact again to Harukawa-san. She was working in a big enterprise, like the boss's secretary. But what only I heard about her was, only threats and fights. And she took this job of nowhere.

She looked at me with knives in her eyes, I barely could settle a date alive.

And I even didn't want to talk to her, Kichi was the interested

I probably regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short chapter, and next is soon soon.


	8. Awkward

“What do you want to talk about?” She said straight to the point as she touched the table.

“Ahm…” Her presence still was so heavy, with her long hair falling his shoulders, eyes dull looking upset at everything, wearing a formal female suit black, she wasn’t a woman you could see often “About what happened.”

I hoped she said something, but only she looked at me waiting I finish the sentence.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to kick out my department, I guess I.. got angry.”

“Hm..” She emits, one part of me thought she would leave after I finish, but fortunately she stayed “I was angry too, but It’s not like I don’t want you to be happy.” She heavy sighed “Just I cant believe it, how can anyone can be happy!?” Punched the table making me startled awkwardly.

“H..Harukawa-san…”

“I get it… Its only frustrating being surrounded of people happily making their fucking lives.” She murmured frowned say it the lasts words with bitter and hatred “Neither of us, needed to work, I envy Yumeno for dared being completely a shut in… But I choose this stupid job, that makes me do stupid things like talk with stupid people..” Sour, completely sour, she murmured with a big darkened aura over her.

If she talked like this in her office, I cannot image that kind of tense atmosphere she created.

“At least.. talk with people…”

“No, only I want they shut the fuck up.”

I laughed nervous, with Momota-kun the things between us were more ease.

“Well.. maybe.. I can’t really do anything for you Harukawa-san, even, in this moment you could dislike me, from talking right now or for being alive, but” I sighed “In a sort of way, we were friends, not exactly right now, but if you want someone to talk about, well… I am more a listener, you can count on me.”

“Hmp!” He huffed “Listener…” She passed her hand through her hair and groaned “Why are you so nice!?” She shouted angrily “You unhinged me!”

I stiffed.

And she only sighed deeply.

“But I guess… is what it makes you.” She looked at me, with a more calm gaze “Such a soft guy, I still don’t believe how nobody tried to kill you.”

I gulped uncomfortable.

“Ah…” Is that a insult?

She sighed again.

“I guess I can talk with you, if the things turned so badly. As I remember you were reliable, in sort sense of the word…”

Sort sense of the word?.. 

“Thank you?”

She fell silent for a while until she looked at me.

“I suppose I’ll be the one who should.. thanked you… for talking.. with me.” She murmured awkwardly.

“Ah… that’s…”

“Any way! What with that brat?” She murmured changed quickly the subject, a subject that I don’t really feel confident “Are you living with him?”

“I… yes..”

“Isn’t he too young?”

“Yes…” I said almost in a whisper.

“And you and he are couple?”

We… settled being official couple on his 18s, he is not 18 years old, but we already starting to kiss each other.

“Soon?”

“Saihara…” Her voice scared me “I know you said you were a listener, but what a crappy answers are you giving me..”

I laughed nervous “Ehm… Is just a little complicated.”

“Hmp! If you don’t wanna tell me, it’s okay, I don’t care.” She muttered “Only want to clarify… he really looks like..” 

She stopped at my serious gaze if she referred to Ouma someother way besides only Ouma.

“Ouma.” Finish flat and bitter.

At least there wasn’t insults yet…

Is kind of true his body seems similar than before, but mostly for his same expressions.

"He doesn’t look like that much, he is not that pale, the color of his eyes is lighter and his hair, also..”

“Is equal Saihara, shorty and skinny, don’t deny it.” She declared.

I sighed, maybe for her.

“He is thinner than..”

“I don’t care about details, you know what I am talking about.”

“Ah…” I tighten my lips.

“You said.. moving forward, but actually you seem..”

“No” I interrupted “It’s not the case… otherwise… he is the one he made me move, I was stuck completely, without thinking in anything, only living day a day, my actual life, is just for him.”

“Hmm I see.. What’s his name?”

I gulped “Koichi Yuma”

She snorted in disbelief “Even a similar name, you really take just other leaf from the same tree.”

Actually I took the same leaf from the same tree.

“Fine, I’ll give him some credit.” She draw a slight smile in relief “Maybe is not that bad talk with people.” She muttered.

I was glad to talk with her.

.  
.  
.

“Shuu!” He shouted when I enter, I startled “You are still alive!” He hugged me, rubbing his cheek with mine.

“I’m.. home?” I separated him from his shoulders, and he smiled at me.

“Welcome back.” He giggled pulling my shirt to join our lips softly “Ne… You wont starting to love her, hear me?”

I looked at him, and sighed.

“That’s impossible.” I ruffled his hair as he blushed “I love you so much for think on anyone else.”

He hugged me, so cute, but he is even cuter, being unsecure.

.

“Did she punched you?” He asked me happily resting in my arm.

“No, she didn’t.” 

“Kick you? Spit out you?” He looked at my with sparks in his eyes grabbing my arm.

“No..” I murmured ruffling his hair “Did you just send me to make you suffer.”

“Yep! Got me! But that’s a lie! I would never I like you got hurt Shumai! I was suuuper worried.” 

“You don’t seem… worried.”

He giggled.

“That’s because!” He place a finger on his mouth “It’s a secret.”

“Huh?”

“Secret until you find out!” He released me to jump from the couch.

"Ah?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't hate Harukawa, only think she is so difficult to handle! She also deserves happiness  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Kind of similar, but different! Do not argue with Saihara!
> 
>  


	9. Busted up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi he's behaving weird lately, what's wrong with him? Maybe his age or other concern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Saihara-chan! Better late than never :)
> 
> This chapter is shorty and only a previous preparation of your 18s.

Lately Kichi have been worried about his hair.

I don’t really understand the problem… Is wavy and smooth, I like pass my fingers through his hair.

After a week, he bought a curling iron. I only saw it without say anything. I had to say I worry a little.

When he had the hair curled, I tended to undo his curles, brushing his hair with my fingers, he usually didn’t notice it because he always seem so hypnotized when I ruffled his hair.

But I still had not told him anything. Maybe I should…

“I like you hair like… it is.. You know..” I started with something simply.

He looked at me surprised.

“Hee? Even with all my effort curling it! You are so meaan!” He shouted exaggeratedly.

“Why you curl it in first place?”

“Do you hate it?”

“No.. but I also like it wavy, do you hate it?”

He looked away, he never had problem before.

“Don’t you think it’s strange?”

“Not really, is the hair you have since 17 years.”

“Almost 18!” He corrected.

“Almost 18 years”

Still he didn't seem satisfied with my answer.

I sighed heavily. Maybe he was concerned because soon he would have his 18s.

He felt secure his hair curly?

I don’t know!

“I like it… both, only try don't mistreat it a lot.”

He pouted and turn around to shut in his room. Letting me paralyzed in the middle of the living room.

Did I touch a nerve?

But why so suddenly?

It’s because his secret?

I sighed.

.

In the late night he sneaked in my bed again. At least he wasn't completely mad.

I run my fingers through his hair and he nuzzled my shirt.

“Shuu, I am cute?” He asked surprising me.

“Hm?” I hugged him “Why you asking?” 

He got quiet for a moment “Why is hard to answer Shuichi? Is a yes or no question.”

“Yes.. or no question…” I murmured “What would you do if my answer no?” I asked.

“I will be completely heartbroken! And I’ll cry a lot! A lot!” He laughed in my shirt “But that’s a lie! Or isn’t?”

I sighed, probably he was lying, but still I think he was truly concerned.

“Why.. your concern?”

“Hum.. You really are a pain for answer a simple question.” He muttered.

“You're one to talk”

He got quiet again and complained.

“Fiiine.... I was asking only because I was sure I was cute before.” 

Wow… that is so… confident.

“Now, I don’t really know.” He answered.

“You are cute Kichi.” I gave in after all he truly wanted a answer "Very cute, I can't take my eyes off you." I hope with this, calmed him a little from his anxious.

“Eh! Nishishi” He giggled “I already know! You are too obvious.”

“Hmm..” I hummed in disbelief.

“Yes! I can see through my Shumai, clear like crystal!”

“Yeah, you are lying…” I said and he didn't answer only hugged me tighter.

“Maybe, or isn't? But still! I'm too happy hear you, I really really love you Shuichi.”

“I love you too.” I laughed a little.

He giggled and then the air got lighter.

I patted his head with a light smile.

He pulled me to giving me a lovely kiss, more deep and cute, and stayed a few inches from my face. Hugging me by my neck.

I looked at him, for a minutes, admiring his sleeping peacefully face, his parted lips, his round cheeks. I smiled without even notice.

“I really love you.” I place a kiss in his forehead.

.

The next day he was completely knocked out. I let him sleep more, I prepared the breakfast like always. I was glad I had a job that I could enter late to work, It isn't very interesting but it keep me ocupated and a little bit extra money isn't that bad. 

Thinking about yesterday.

He was truly concerned, even is still strange his suddenly worry, and I knew he never tell me directly the reason behind his worries.

Once finished preparation the breakfast, I peek in my bed, he was still asleep, with a gulped I went to his bedroom.

Just maybe I found something?

I know his privacy was important, but he was Kokichi after all, without clue is nearly impossible I could figure something.

I apologized quietly when I entered his room, and started to search for something strange.

The first thing it caught my attention, was an hair dye. I tried to don't touch anything I cannot let in the same place.

In its drawers, I saw everything he bought on internet, games, tricks, useless stuff, and other completely worring stuff… like night vision goggles, a drone, a taser gun… pepper spray… paint gun… sedative darts gun! and.. pin-shaped microphones and his repective receptor.

“Ah….”

Five of them.

“Is that…”

I looked suspicious the tiny device for a couple minutes.

…Talking about breaking the privacy… Kokichi get easily the first place....

.

We breakfast together, he seemed returned to his usual behavior loving and cute.

I was glad, but still I needed to talk about it.

How.. I start...

He thanked me and kiss my cheek, before he went to his room, I have forgotten it was my turn with the plates.

I lost my chance..

“Huh? You enter to my room?!” He asked me excited a couple minutes.

I paralyzed instantly, and I thought I didn't move anything.

“I didn't expect Shumai break my privacy so easily.”

I sighed, well he gave me another chance.

“I wanted to know what happened to you, and now I know…” I looked at him.

“Ah! Only my Shuichi is so clever to advantage of me for sleeping in your room!”

““Don’t talk about break the others privacy, you are for ages guiltier.” I murmured.

He smiled at me.

“You found out?” He asked me tense, still with his smile.

I tousled him completely.

“I found out, I though it was strange you stick on my arm as soon I return after my talk with Harukawa, and after that you acted strange, I didn’t say anything special, only I can recall spot the differences between the actual you and before…”

“I wasn't mean to hiding it from you.” He placed his hands on his nape “Only wanted to do it more interesting!”

“Doesn't matter why you didn't tell me, I care about why you heard us.”

“I was worried.” He declared to simply and honest “What would I do, If Shumai would feel horrible after your talk and I didn’t know what it happened. Everything could be ended disastrous!”

“It’s not justified.”

“No?” He looked at me with pleaded eyes “Did you would feel better If I have been told you before?”

“Better but still bad…”

“I just wanted to know!” He throw himself to me crying dramatically “I was so worried! I love Shuichi so much! And now he is mad at me!”

I sighed… He was playing fool.

“Kokichi…”

“It’s not fair!”

“Kokichi…”

“I only do it for you!”

“Kokichi!” I separated him from his shoulders, he had all the face red in tears, fakes ones “I am a little mad, I admit it.”

He stiffen, maybe the only real emotion after this drama.

“But, if you promise won't do it again, I can forgive you.”

“Oh?” He looked at me brightly “You aren’t as mad as I expect.”

“Because I know you, I know you are good even if you don’t look as one.”

His smiled softened with a giggle.

“And that’s why I love you so much!” 

Before he hugged me again, I stopped him.

“But! I want you not only promise you wont do it again, also I want to you to break all your microphones.”

“AH?!” He shocked "Break?!"

“And that way I’ll be sure you won't do it again.” I smiled.

“You are terrible!” 

“And that’s why you love me so much?” I teased him a little, he pouted at me.

“Fine, Fine!” He pulled at me, kissing me fiercely, biting my lips, our tongues dancing together, he shivered as he parted our lips “Only for the forgiveness of my beloved.”

“Five of them… in front of me..”

“Hee….” He sighed still with his smile "My beloved is too strict."

.

.

.

He cried fake tears at the sight his broken devices.

“Kichi..” 

“Hm? What do you want now, meanie Shumai…”

“I was wondering... How would you will do when we shared the bedroom? That way you really can't hide anything from me.”

His eyes sparked at my words.

“True! We are going to shared a bedroom soon! I can't wait!” He hugged me giggling, hummed happily instantly, he looked at me “You know Shuichi, I wasn’t lying about not hiding them from you, I didn't think about it! I bought it simply! No ulterior motives, and it's the truth."

I sighed, it’s unfair he being so cute with me…

I hugged him back, enjoying for a moment his warm.

“And about the darts gun…”

He complained loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will finally turn his 18 years old.
> 
> I love to write them, is so domestic
> 
>  


	10. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His 18s would be a big change, or maybe isn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe last chapter!

It was his 18s birthday, he seemed so happy clinging to me, his height was almost reach my jaw, a little bit taller than before, although he was disappointed for being short than me, again.

He grabbed me by my shoulders and place a kiss in my lips, softly and tender.

"But! Being shorter than you is not the end of the world, it’s a view I'm used to…" He laughed "But more importantly… I am officially Shuichi's boyfriend!"

I blushed a little.

“Yeah.” Official "Although we already kiss since you have 16… so... is like we already are couple"

"First! Since the 15s" He giggled as I embarrassed as I remembered it.

 _15 years and 11 months._ Corrected in my mind.

"Second! Of course it changes! Now nobody can take you from me! You are mine, all mine."

"Like always…"

"Moo! Don’t cut my words!" He complain sitting in my lap giggling, he was too happy even being angry "That's a lie! I love when Shumai is like this! He is so strict!"

"I am not." I murmured.

"See, you are." He joked taking my lips again, he was only happy, I deepened our kiss and he shivered hugging me from the neck, he is too cute, not only physically, the way he gives himself to me so devotedly.

And he loves me, smiles to me, follow me, supported me.

Even when I’m nothing compared to him.

He smiled widely as we parted our lips, looking at me with bright in his eyes.

"Shuichi… now that our relationship is official, your coworkers and everyone have to know!"

“I.. actually don’t talk with them about my private life…”

“Well you must now!” He pouted at me “Over all! The women! You are too handsome and cute! But you are mine!”

I laughed a little.

“We have clarify that before.”

He blushed and kiss me again.

“Also tell him to Harukawa-chan, she must **not** had any expectation with you!”

“I am pretty sure, she doesn't see me like a man…”

“Still you need to tell her.” He pouted at me.

I sighed, she'll gonna give me a gelid gaze.

“I’ll tell her as well.”

He grabbed my shirt and his smile softened.

“All.. mine.” He muttered to himself and looked at me excited “Should we move my things to you bedroom today?!” He asked.

“It would be a little bit rushed… Don't you think?” He complained still hugging me by the neck, I touched his hair, and smile a little.

_He is too cute…_

“Also.. I was thinking, that we should moving out.”

“Huh?”

“Ehm… this place is very… narrow, our bedroom it’ll fill up quickly.. I was thinking in... maybe a place more spacious, and wide with a nice view.”

He buried his face on my neck, giggling.

“Sounds great!” He looked at me with his bright smile in his face “No! I love it! But!" He looked at me “Until we move out, I’m gonna start sharing bedroom with you!” He smiled shiny "Since today!" Declarated openly.

My smile cracked a little, feeling my heart skipped.

“O..Of course.”

His smile appeared again and kissed my cheeks once and once.

“After all, those years.. passed really quickly, only because I enjoyed each day with my beloved Shuichi.”

I hugged him with my arm, at his sight, I kissed him deeply, no matter what, he always managed to disturb my heart.

_A heart that only beats for him._

“Shumai.” He called me.

“Hm?”

“S..Shall we pass to the bedroom?”

_Eh?!_

He tighten his lips and looked down shyly, that don’t reassure my thoughts at all.

_Was he referring to that?_

Now I was in panic.

_W..Well we have been kissing for too long… it’s maybe obvious.. but it been a while, since… since…_

“I am the teen here, why are you the flustered?” He mocked at me.

I looked away embarrassed.

“Shut up..” Soon enough he would be the embarrassed one.

“We don't need to go all the way, y’know, I only want to feel my Shuichi even more.” He laughed cutely.

I looked at him, although he was smiling I can feel his nervousness.

“That look is a yes?” He asked me “Tell me is a yes!” He hugged my neck.

_There... mustn't being a problem... After all, we are... couple._

_He is my beloved boyfriend._

"Only.. if you are okay with that.." I answered.

"I obviously okay!"

He took again my lips, once and twice.

_Kichi..._

Maybe he was playing cool but he cannot suppress a shriek when I lifted him up in my arms.

“Although we are going very very slow.”

“Why you always want to be slow?! I was ready since forever!” He was bluffing.

.

I didn't know how much time passed, but frankly I did not care.

We were on bed, curiously was more easy than I thought. Once I my restrain got free, my body acted on its own.

I hope not I scared him to much...

But the way he was purring in my chest, he didn't seem having a problem.

We didn’t go that slow how I planned to… At least we.. didn’t go all the way for the moment.

Marking completely all his neck and chest with my mouth... and not talking what happened with my hands.

I was very different to my first time intimate with him. In that times if we would had went that far, I would've buried on ground and never ever go out.

But this time, even if was our first time, we already very used to each other.

“Too happy… too happy..” He murmured on my chest meanwhile I ruffled his hair “You’ve been torturing to me.. all this years.. Shumai..”

“Hm?”

“Because I was waiting for sooo long, I cannot wait anymore.” He was humming happily. "It was that hard?"

“Remember how you finished after our first kiss..” 

Completely overwhelm in emotions, knocked out in the couch. 

“That was an act, don’t tell me you fell for it?” He laughed cutely.

“That’s a lie.” I completely messed his hair and sit on the bed, before I can accommodate my clothes, he grab my arm.

“Where you go? I’m right here! Y..You are abandoning me! H..how can you being so cruel?!”

He probably was only upset because he didn't want me to leave.

“Kichi.” I patted a little “It’s your birthday, I want to go for your gift.”

His expression changed in a instant.

“Another gift? What is it? What is it?” He asked me excited pulling me even more.

_Another gift?_

Just thinking in that made my cheeks exploded, just Kokichi being Kokichi.

“If you let go of me I can go for it..”

“Fiiine! You better it doesn't take you too much!” He finally let me go.  
After fixed my pants and shirt went for the gift, when I took the little box I sighed deeply.

_I..It’s not that big.. deal._

Still I tried to hide my blushing forming in my face.

I return to the bed and he received to me with the arms open, telling me to join him again on bed.

But once I hugged him again, notice how he fixed his clothes as well.

“And what is it?”

“Is not… so much… If you want something more, only tell me…”

“Eh?” He tilted his head. “Actually I would accept anything from you, even bad things. Not a lie!”

“I.. don’t think is bad… maybe too little, but it was the only thing in my mind.. and even at this point is still... what I want to give it to you.”

His gaze got serious, enough to make me nervous.

“Shumai.” He called me, with his neutral calmly voice, the voice it scare me most “What it is?” He asked me again.

I tighten my lips, there is too late for retracts.

From my back I show him a little box.

He startled when he looked at it, making me flinch for that, he already must figure it what it is… 

“Ehm… ah… yeah..” I babbled.

I lowered my face, without look at him, as he took it.

Awkward silence. None of us was saying anything or doing anything.

He only was staring it for a minute without open it.

_Was is… a rejection?_

“Kichi… Is… there… a problem?” I put too much effort to not act nervous. He parted his lips and closed them again.

But I was getting to my limit, I was really nervous, the silence, the waiting.

“If you.. don’t want it..” I laughed uncomfortably trying to take the little box from his hands but he holding it tightly prevent it, and then looking at me angrily.

“I want it.” He declared simply.

“And…” I moved unquietly “Why you don’t open… it..?”

He looked more intensely the box.

“Kichi..?”

“I like… it like this..” He said after a minute.

“Huh?”

He looked away.

I started to understand him, I sighed, all for my nervousness I gave him a big burden.

“Kokichi…” I called him, but after the third time I finally gain his attention. “I’ll do this properly, I’m sorry.”

I took the box from his hands and tensed for a moment.

"This is… you gift… I really want to… you…" I bit my lip, there wasn’t the time to waver. “I love you… more than anyone, anything or myself.” I was shaking as I opened the box for him "I want to give you a ring, for… our promise… Maybe is not that much, but still I wanted you to have it, is... something I always wanted to gave you. But now... I though is a properly time."

He flinched.

"So.. it was really a ring.” He laugh with a sigh relieved. Letting the tears go through his cheeks. "I didn't want my mind fool me, but you are really gifted me a ring" He smiled as I wipe away the tears of his eyes.

"Is.. that okay?"

"Of course is okay." It wasn't a scold but it sounded like one "A ring from my Shuichi!" He giggled returning at his lighten mood "Place it! Place it!" He hurried me childrish as ever.

I laughed a little for miself, and with a tiny blush I placed it carefully on his finger, I cannot help but smile widely.

"This time… I would protect you, no matter what, Kokichi, I am… the most lucky person for known you… and most of all… I am sorry for everything for not being able to.."

"Shumai!" He smiled interrupting me for continue calmly "No regrets, past is past! I am with you now! Isn't it? Or otherwise I would feel bad too." 

"You are right." I smiled comforted.

Looked his ring “I don't need a ring.. But that’s a lie!" He throwed himself to me, hugging me tightly, laughing to himself and snuggling my shirt “Until death they say… But I didn't allow forget our promise, even after the death, and fortunately I found you and you found me." He smiled at me as he took my lips again.

He tasted so sweet, his kisses was soft and lovely, making me crazy.

“And now!” He looked at me with a smug smile “It’s more official than ever.” He laughed for himself.

“Yeah it is.”

"But you also need a ring!" He complained with a smile.

I ruffled his hair.

"A matching ring?"

"Yeah! But I gonna buy it! It's more romantic that way! And both gonna tell Harukawa-chan!" He laughed "The last part was a lie." His laughed becoming uncomformy "I am really don't wanna see her again."

"She said she would give credit, maybe she.. would be nice?"

"Is not funny." He looked me tense "She hated me, before and I am sure even still!"

"Maybe not now, but can you think about it?"

"Hmm!" He pouted at me.

"You push me, and I push you?" 

"My Shumai like play dirty, but is why I love him." He looked "Maybe, maybe, but if I throw up, you'll deal with it. Got it?"

"Yes, I'll take responsability.." I laughed a little.

Harukawa is not easy to handle, but she needed talk with someone and Kichi also needed talk with others else than online people...

.  
.  
.

 

"Ouma-kun?" I said, entering at my lab.

I knew he would be here.

"Oh! Saihara-chan, what a nice surprise." He talked normally, but I can tell he was tense.

"Ouma-kun..."

"Are you worried?" He asked me, looking at me with a cheeky smile.

I tightened my lips.

"How could not? Ouma-kun this is.. a mess."

"Yes!" He agreed "But don't worry! I never would let anything happened to my beloved Shumai!"

"Ouma-kun, you are the one in trouble.."

"Geez! You are a worrywart! I am always in trouble" He laughed forcibly.

"Ouma-kun...." I muttered, after that, the room got silence.

He looked down, clenching my heart, drowning me in worry.

"But I have a plan." He said before I could say anything.

"You are thinking something crazy, crazier than now."

"Maybe." He smiled.

I couldn't take it even more, I closed our distance hugged him tightly in my arms.

"Why..." I murmured.

"Why?"

"Why... you choose... being the evil one?"

He hugged me back nuzzling my shirt.

"Because I am the supreme evil leader." He looked at me with decision.

"You even aren't sure being really a supreme evil leader.."

"That doesn't matter! I am not sure of anything! Never ever!" 

Saying something so... sad.. in that bright mood is... painful.

"That's a lie!" He continued "After all I believe in you, even if you aren't a detective, still you are you, that doesn't change, my beloved Saihara-chan."

I frowned, and sighed. I took his hand frustrated.

_Why I am the only one who knows this Ouma-kun?_

"That's why I live for you, you are the only one real in my world." He tightened my hand.

"Don't say that... Your words sounds like a goodbye.."

He hugged me, aching my heart.

"Is not, you are delusional, I am being honest here!" He giggled "I mean it, I live for you."

_A lie?_

"I am sorry, for not being able... to help you." I muttered feeling the tears running my cheeks.

"You are doing enough hugging me, I so happy to have met you."

"W..Why are you saying that!?"

"Huh?" He looked at me and smiled "You are to tense!" He giggle "I am fine! I'll be fine! Silly Shumai! I am just happy, is the truth! Even in a killing game, I trusted in somebody, I got to loved somebody and even better, this incredible boy love me back." He giggled "How can't I be happy?"

He touched my cheeks and wiped me off my tears.

"Don't cry, you look more cute smiling, I'll be fine."

_Another lie?_

I pulled him by his back to join our lips softly, in a kind and soulbreaking kiss.

"Wow.. that was.. a really good kiss! After all you learned how to kiss." 

I only could hugged him tightly, we stayed like this for a while.

"Saihara-chan... I need you being strong for now on." He looked at me serious.

I parted my lips but closed them right away, he wont tell me anything anyway. And... if it was a way to help him.

"I can try."

He smiled, but before released him, I took his hands.

"Promise me..." I murmured "We are going to get out together."

His violet eyes looked at me surprised.

"Being together... living together... A real life together" I continued, tightening his hands.

He smiled looking down.

"Nothing would like me more than that."

"Promise it..." I pressed.

"I promise." He murmured looking at my eyes "A life with Saihara-chan." His calmly smile was making me uneasy...

I felt more and more tears running on my face, he giggled, pulling me in a kiss.

"You should go by now."

"What?"

"All will be okay."

Without wanted let him off, I forced myself to.

"You also need to sleep."

"I got everything under control." He smiled "Tomorrow would be a busy day, so... maaayyybe I cannot got to see you." He made a pause "But! I know I can trust you." He looked at me serious.

"Yes."

"That's my Shumai!" He placed his hands on his nape.

Before leave the room I turn to him.

"I love you." I said, this time without stutter.

"I love you too." He answered cutely "Sweet dreams."

His last words.

.  
.

_But now is different._

I saw him sleeping in my chest, drooling a little, completely knocked out in my arms.

I cannot help but see him, thinking about how lucky I am.

I stroked his hair lightly, and he leaned at my touch.

"My.. hus..band.." He giggled in his sleep.

I blushed a little.

We are not exactly... But, I touched the ring on his finger, we almost...

We didn't need to rush, this time, we really have a lifetime for ourselves.

And I could not ask for it in any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I love you all for follow me in this crappy story.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on my twitter, if you want obviously!
> 
> @sugarterror
> 
> Bye bye

**Author's Note:**

> Drawings in between the fic, I had to admit I first made the drawings and after the fic, hehehe
> 
> Hit me up on twitter if you want @sugarterror


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